Climbing Makes your Life Worth Living by Kathryn Reagan
My eyes snap shut from the impact. I rub my shoulder and sit up. Thanks to a “great” spot from my coach, Dave, I manage to land not so gracefully on my side. I take a deep breath and stand up. I focus on my breathing, gently chalking up my hands, and re-sequence the problem. I am trying to climb Women’s #2 at the Junior Indoor Bouldering Regionals in Philadelphia. The results from tonight will determine whether or not I can go to Nationals. I firmly grasp the start hold and carefully place my feet on tiny footholds. I use every ounce of strength and control I possess, and finesse my way up to the final move. I hesitate for an instant, and dynamically spring for the hold. I hit it, and desperately try to hang on for just one more moment. Unfortunately, my fingers release and I feel the impact of the fall spread throughout my body once again. I place my hands on the start hold once more, less confident in myself. I gasp for air and frantically try to control my breathing- and my emotions. I remember what my coach, Ryan, told me at practice. He told my team not to let your emotions take control of you, and to stay detached from the climb. Ryan told us not to get angry with ourselves or the climb, and to leave every feeling at the problem and not let them interfere with our performance on the next climb. This idea is easier said than done however. I decide not to attempt the climb again, and to move to the next rest point. By the time I get there, I am so frustrated with my performance on the previous climb that I am in tears. My friends Becca and Hanna rush over to comfort me and almost immediately Ryan joins us. Ryan gives me a quick pep talk as I stand up to do the next problem. I carefully take my time sequencing it and I sit down to begin. I’m still shaky from the last problem and I have trouble keeping my feet on the wall. On my first attempt, I get further than everyone before me. That remains my high point, however, throughout my next 3 attempts. I’m so relieved to be done- finally finished my first onsight competition! After about an hour, the results are out. I have received 6th in the comp, giving me 5th in the final season standings. My friend Becca got 3rd and we were almost positive that she would make nationals. We were so thrilled and excited for her! After we left the gym, we went out to a team dinner and didn’t get back to Becca’s house until about 1 in the morning. We excitedly talked about how well she placed then fell fast asleep. It was the end of a trying but amazing day.
The days passed, and finally it was about two weeks later. I was sitting in my dad’s office at home, doing some homework on the computer. The door was closed but suddenly I heard it open and I turned around. My mom came through the door and looked confused. I noticed that she had the phone in her hand. I asked her who it was, and she replied, “Ryan.” I took the phone and said hello. Ryan said “Kathryn, I’m on the Philly Gym website, looking at the national’s invitee list. You’re on it.” I was so shocked! “WHAT” I screamed. He said “Yup, you just got invited to Nationals.” Then I told him “That’s great, but now we have to convince my parents to let me go.” (I live in Maryland and the Nationals were being held in Colorado) Ryan told me, “Even if they don’t let you go, you have to realize what a big accomplishment this is.” After excitedly talking with Ryan for a few more minutes, I hung up the phone. The next thing I did was run around my house, screaming. It was the greatest feeling.
Well, my parents did let me go to nationals. I wound up placing 14th. I didn’t make finals, but I did my best and I was proud of myself. It was so amazing to go climb in Colorado, at Nationals. The only thing that would have made it more perfect would be if my friend Becca had gone. She did get invited, but sadly broke her back a week before our flight left. That really put everything in perspective. Nationals weren’t really that important, it was the knowing that you deserved to go that was it important. It was the journey and hard work that you did to deserve the chance to go to nationals that was really important. Sure, nationals are great, but climbing alone is very special. "When you are climbing your mind is clear, free from all confusions. You have focus, and suddenly the light becomes sharper, sounds are richer, and you are filled with the deep, powerful presence of life." (John Freaney interview)
Climbing makes your life worth living.
